I am screwed up

FOR THE RECORD

Mon, 05 Jan 2004 01:35:15 GMT

i guess i wont be able to update this journal for quite some time. i don't wanna say i'll be deleting it.

if you really love me anyway, feel free to add my other journal...it's what i've been updating a lot lately

www.livejournal.com/~rigby

Citibank Collection Officers

Fri, 12 Dec 2003 05:42:41 GMT

I have a lot of friends working for CITIBANK as Collection Officers. They're the people who bug you when you haven't been making payments for your past due bills. During drinking sprees sometimes I really argue with them over their jobs, I mean how they do their jobs.

I am a witness to how rude they can be. They'll ask you to pay or at least make you promise to pay by making such grave threats like sending an arresting team to your house/office. To make the long story short, they are not doing their jobs right!

Okay, it's their job to remind the bank's clients to pay their bills but hell it aint right if they'd be harassing a card holder and making a fool out of him/her. These collectors would often reason out that they're only mean because the card holders are also mean to them. Who struck first is the question? I'll bet my li'l ass on these collectors. I've been answering calls for my colleague with regards to her account and boy oh boy they really are rude. SOmetimes they'd even act out as if they're superior to me. Well excuse me, this is Jerome, a war junkie, feel free to send in your army.

A while ago i was talking to my ex who happens to be a collecting officer as well. WE were interrupted becasue she got some sms. She then told me it was a card member who smsed her that he made a payment of 2000 Pesos. I asked my not-so-lovable ex how much did the guy owe CITBANK. She said 1700 Pesos. She also told me she smsed that card holder that if he doesnt pay, she will cancel her account and make him pay in full.

Not-so-lovable-ex was so happy because she'll get an incentive(cash) because of this. I paused and eventually we had to put down the phone. Filipinos are really sick. They'll do anything just because of MONEY. Can't blame them of course. Dont they have any principles in life? Tangina, napaka walang kwenta talga ng mga tao sa atin.

another MRT tale

Fri, 12 Dec 2003 03:24:52 GMT

one of the things i hate the most during the morning rush hour on the jam-packed MRT is an english speaking monkey. it really annoys the hell out of me. earlier today i wasn't only blessed with one, instead there were three of them. 2 girls and a dorky looking SOB. You may say It's none of my business for them to talk in english and all that, but it is, it becomes my business when i'm stuck together with them, with my dick rubbing against their puny li'l asses. It fucking annoys me.

Here we are, all sweating with the construction workers who wear their damn sandos and rubber slippers.

Here we all are, smelling one another's breaths.

Here we all are, as if programmed to go to the streets of makati and march to our offices wherein we'll do a 1-hour work and sit the remaining 7 hours idle.

Here we all are, not getting enough of that sleep, that sleep which is so relaxing on a cold december morning.

Let me at least have peace on the damn MRT. I don't wanna hear rich-kid-poseurs. I don't wanna hear your american accent. For cristo's sake, you haven't even been to the US I bet. NAPUNTA KA LANG SA ISANG LECHENG CALL CENTRE EH ANG ARTE MO NA MAGSALITA PUTANGINA KA! Call me insane and curse me all you like but please, PLEASE LET ME HAVE PEACE IN THE MRT, ON A BEATIFUL SUNNY BUT NOT SO HOT MORNING.

In Manila, The Philippines

Fri, 12 Dec 2003 03:23:11 GMT

Smart people are called weirdos.

Good leaders are called stupid.

Naive people are called nice.

karla in friendster

Mon, 01 Dec 2003 10:02:38 GMT

crying over spilled milk...yep, that's what i'm trippin' over today. i saw karla's profile in friendster. i saw her now boyfreind too. i learned karla now owns the honda she was once letting me drive. *sighs* how could i have let go of this woman who was willing to give everything for me?

stupid jerome.

i really can't say i'm happy for her.

i'm kinda lonely today. i know it's nothing new. it feels good in a way that i'm not crying over the complicated mitchell.

Fri, 28 Nov 2003 08:24:40 GMT

tonight BRUTALGRACE.COM is running an anniversary production wherein great bands and some not so great bands will perform. yes, we should be there playing too but thanks to the moronic organizers and for grace being some kind of a friend we will not be playing.

i don't know if you people know BRUTALGRACE.COM

it's actually a picture site of the local rock scene. Grace, a fellow rock enthusiast owns the site, she takes the pictures but she doesn't know html stuff. being her friend i do that. i manage the site. ALL FOR FREE.

i wanna admit in this post that we are not in the best of terms. a lot of ugly incidents really. some of them deal with my ex, Rap, which i don't want to talk about. Most of the ugly incidents deal with gigs. You know there have been 3 productions under her name and yet my fuckin' band was never included in her fuckin line ups. One of her reasons is that she doesn't handle these line ups. It's isi(mindflush) who does. Well hello it's still under her name. Anyway if she doesn't like my band and then i can't force her to like us right? So piss onbrutalgrace and piss onmindflush.

well i dunno if you people will understand me. it's like your friend running a show and then you have a band who plays all for nothing yet they don't seem to see or know you are in a freakin' band. it's fcukin' insulting actually but then again, I CAN'T and DONT WANNA FORCE PEOPLE to LIKE US.

wednesday she was asking me to drop by for the anniversary, i said i can't because i have this gig going on morato. the freak even had the nerve not to believe me and told me i just didn't wanna go because her bands suck.

she's even giving me a VIP PASS for the recetnly held NU107 rock awards, i didn't take it of course. how can i enjoy when i'll be there alone....what fucknig good will a vip pass do?

her final words were, "i included you in my guest list, just drop by if you chang your mind."

weird = nice

Fri, 21 Nov 2003 07:39:20 GMT

well since monday mitchell has been acting weirdly. weird because she's so nice to me. we had dinner that night but we talked about nothing serious. i took her home and that was it. until the next day(tuesday), she became weirder. that means she became nicer. she kept calling me in the office and she was calling me baby.

wednesday and thursday, i was all hyped up. to my disappointment, she has become cold again as her usual self. being the idiot that i am, though we are not a couple, i was expecting replies for sms i sent and calls i made to her.

i am sad and it's pathetic for me to be sad.

i wasn't expecting for her to call today nor reply my sent sms' but she did. she wants me to go with her to the fucking mall. i told her that she made me sad by not calling or texting me. she said she's busy and all that.

SHE CALLED ME TODAY TO GO WITH HER TO THE MALL BECAUSE SHE WANTS SOMEONE TO TAKE HER HOME.

being the lovefool that i am...you know i'll go with her ;(

I'LL TELL HER HOWEVER I CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS FOREVER.

wish me luck...

niza's b-day

Wed, 19 Nov 2003 06:43:09 GMT

saturday was niza's bday. it was a real bore at first because dennis and alex had to leave me with niza and zaldy. niza and zald used to be lovers. that night for some reason zaldy kept a smile in his face and i could see he's really happy.

alou and her friend leroy soon followed. more drinks came and more appetizers(pulutan) too. i was in that down mood that night. i was irrate over the performers and i noticed i kept on cussing.

we headed to alou's aprtment for the 2nd consecutive night to drink more. i paid for the beer thinking niza would pay me since it was her treat she said. when we got there they played a bootleg dvd of bad boys two and left a lot of beer not being consumed. it kinda pissed me, but i just kept it to myself. when sleeping time came, i was asking niza for my reimbursement.

there was no reimbursement.

yeah it fuckin' sucks. had only i known she didn't have money left i wouldnt have bought more beer and shit.

it was okay anyway. i mean, what can i do right?

Sat, 15 Nov 2003 10:57:04 GMT

well i have forgiven mitchelle already and i guess there's nothing i can do about the situation no matter how sad it is for me.

odd for me to say this...life must go on.

last night i had fun. i met up with rocker friends dencio who tagged along his colleague alex and i met up with anna(now called annang-bingi) and charlou(indian girl)...we watched matrix revolutions...well it's a good movie but i didn't like the storyline...i think the story was hastily done...too crappy and shitty i would say...i think the matrix should'v ended in the first movie

after the movie we headed to charlou's apartment which has become a second home for me...of course we brought some strong beer with us to keep the night interesting adn it was fun...i was happy to see charlou happy...i know that she's sad deep inside(maybe because of being single)...charlou has become a great friend...actually all the greenpark girls have...i thank God for giving them to me...these girls take good care of me and i really love them for that...

i went home today at 1 pm...it was a long day but it was fun and i thank God for that

it's over now

Wed, 12 Nov 2003 07:06:10 GMT

what a disaster,
anyway i'm feeling better.
it's over now.
thanks for the comments you all sent me.
they really mean a lot.

love problems...resurrected

Tue, 04 Nov 2003 02:22:08 GMT

ok, non-updates...as if you give a damn

well for those of you who do, i got a lot of news for you...

on the lighter side of things, i got myself a new phone. here's my new # too... +639228042097.

ok let's go to the more interesting ones now...

i dated some girl named, MITCHELL, i think it was 2 weeks ago... the 17th of October. She's pretty darn attractive and for all I know she's a nice person. Well we saw each other again on the 29th of October. WE hugged and it was us. Walah, all of a sudden I found myself in a relationship. Lucky me huh? But NO! Not really!

I was shocked when she told me on all soul's day that she hasn't officially broke up with her boyfriend and that a lot of other guys are making their moves on her. Well me being the jealous type and the manic depressive son of a bitch panicked and yes here I am, in a dark room battling my depression.

And whoever told me finding a new girl would end all the misery in me?

It took me two damn long years to finally like someone again. What is it in my world? Am I destined to be sad?

Last friday I waited for 5 hours to pick her up from her office, just when I was 15 minutes away from her building, she sent me an sms telling me that she had to leave because her mom called her to go home immediately.

Last night we had a wonderful dinner and then took her home. At the gate of her house, a car was parked with its driver waiting, waiting for my MITCHELL.

Judging from her eyes she was in a state of panic. The guy too, both of them reached for their mobile phones and talked to God knows who. I asked her twice who he was but instead she somewhat sho-oed me away. SHe didn't even introduced me to him, whoever the prick he was. I know I should have stayed but by the way she looked at me, there was a fear in her eyes, she told me to GO(or get the hell out)...it made me sad and left me no option but to GO and I(me and my cabbie) was causing traffic.

Ok, maybe I'm overacting. Maybe I'm just plain sick. She not even trying to comfort me you know and that makes me feel unimportant.

Somebody kill me please.

RATBUSTER

Fri, 17 Oct 2003 09:11:15 GMT

last night, about 1:30 am while watching dark angel i was spooked by what i thought was a shadow who passed down under the couch. when i opened the lights it was a fuckin' rat the size of a squirrel or maybe even bigger.

it was a struggle killing the shit with legs. i have no idea where it came from. my brother said it ascended from the toilet bowl. oh well goin back to the story i caught up with it on a corner where the computer was and i was able to hit it with a 2x2 wooden stick(2x2s are like the standard household weapons in the Philippines, it's the counterpart of a shotgun in foreign countries). surprisingly, it still didnt die and even clung to the stick so i had to threw it off since the freak might reach for me. the rat was free again and this time hid in the back of the tv rack. it was hard to get him out from there and make an ambush.

it was already 2 am,d i was getting tired and so was adam who i woke up for back up :)
we decided to go in for it. the plan was for me to lift up the tv rack and for adam to make an ambush.

so i lifted the rack. to our luck, the rat's tail got stuck and he was pinned down. by this time we were happy because the shit had no where to go. i even said to it, "today you're goin to die!"

we thought of a 3 ways to kill it. most of them didn't work

1. adam thought he'd burn some WEED to disorient it and then kill it. i said no, we'll end up being high too, hahaha
2. we sprayed it with BAYGON...no effect
3. we sprayed it with ZONROX BLEACH...no effect

it was almost 3 am and so i decided to GO IN and hit it. BAHALA NA!

i told adam to move the rack a li'l but he be careful because the rat might escape. when i had the space to move and go in i went for it and hit the damn rat with the stick about 10 or more times. i even asked adam to hit it more just to make sure it was real dead.

i then checked on it. the freak was dead.

here are some pictures of last night's bust.

the fucking rat

lighting a candle for the damn thing, i even woke up my mom for her to see it

the assasin who ended mickey's friend. damn, my nipples are showing

it darn sucks when people try to make the thinking for you as if you think the same way as they do

Thu, 16 Oct 2003 10:29:10 GMT

there's some controversy goin' on at the site(www.brutalgrace.com) i manage. some people are making-up stories that i am envious/jealous of grace(the owner of the site). they're putting words in my mouth like me saying the site should've been named after me. actually it's a hell more complicated than that.

earlier i lost control and posted a reply. i said i'm not that stupid of a person who enjoys titles. i said, "i call myself the slave because i dont wanna be called webmaster and it is my decision to remain of low-profile" and that grace knows that.

http://amazingforums.com/forum1/BGRACE/198.html <--this is where i posted that reply
http://amazingforums.com/forum1/BGRACE/197.html
http://amazingforums.com/forum1/BGRACE/188.html

one of the people hitting on me is the girl i was telling you about who apparently likes me. well sorry for her, I DON'T LIKE HER and I think I WAS RIGHT not to like her. Look at her, just because I don't like her back she suddenly hates me. Logical isn't it?

anyway i know this is not much of a real - big deal but it darn sucks when people try to make the thinking for you as if i think the same way as they do. i'm positive, you can call me mean if you want, but these people hitting on me are low-level thinkers.

as much as i really wanna keep my silence and let them blabber all they want, i think it was right for me to speak up.

haay.

Fri, 10 Oct 2003 07:18:28 GMT

The past 2 weeks(since I turned down Joan's offer) I was bothered that I'm not falling for anyone and I'm not even close to liking anyone which is really weird for a perv like me. Joan is very pretty but I really don't feel anything towards her, not even the thought of screwing her comes to my mind.

Before I continue, let me please say I am dead straight.

Yesterday I suddenly felt a strange thing towards a girl I met a month ago. She's from another dept. and her name is Marla. She's tall and she's got a pretty slender body to go with her cute angelic face. I got to talk to her yesterday and it turned out to be a conversation between two flirtatious people.

Earlier this morning, i found out that my dear Marla, is already married with two kids.

All hope is not yet lost though. There's this chic in Charlou's phone who I would say is real pretty. The problem is ALou doesn't want me to meet her since she's like being dated by a lot of other guys. But I do like her, she's very WOMANESQUE unlike most girls I go out with who would groom themselves as to what I call alternative.

Here's the girl I call MATET, hehe

i hope our date next week pushes thru

Cop Works

Thu, 02 Oct 2003 14:38:08 GMT

The guards today took it light on me today. The body searcher didn't do his stuff longer as he stupidly over does and the bag inspector just took a small peek in my backpack. I was on the stairs already about 3 steps when a series of yells followed. There was a snatcher who just did his evil deed and passed the security personell who had two cops to back them up.

The cops did something. It was their job of course. They're being paid to do cop work.

You wanna know wha they did?

They valiantly blew their whistle.

1 Peso = .018 $US

Thu, 25 Sep 2003 06:58:14 GMT

last night while walking to the train station i saw a li'l boy, he was sleeping on the sidewalk. his hands were in a way asking for alms. it's a picture of what our country really is. a poverty stricken land with a government led by thieves.

about a thousand other people were walking, just passing this poor kid. that's how people are in here, people who care less and don't give a damn as long as their day is ok.

i will not write about how i helped the kid. it'll be like fasting in front of a million people.

in the streets of qc a multitude traficked the sidewalk just because of watching news of an idiotic -daughter of a hero - daughter of a former president bragging and being bitter of a just ended up realtionship.

i wondered, people pay attention to dumbass actress/actors/politicians and yet they can't even give an ounce of an attention to a homeless kid begging for a PIS0(.018 $).

PUTANGINA KAYONG MGA PILIPINO KAY0!!!

falling in love is so mediocre

Thu, 25 Sep 2003 06:29:42 GMT

nothing interesting really, or maybe i'm just too lazy...i'm such a sloth, maybe because i don't like what i'm doin...

tuesday, joan's b-day, went fine. the day before she called me up and told me she liked me. it's not that i really don't like her. i have this thought running right now that falling in love is so mediocre. i dunno if anybody agrees with me. i think falling in love is not for everybody. there are persons who fall obsessively with people they hardly kn0w... i don't know. i may love christina aguilera the singer but i dunno if i can love her as the person. the case doesn't apply to natalie portman of course, hehe. anyway going back to the topic, it went fine because there were no akward scenarios. i just hang out there with her friends and handed her a burned cd for a present. i wanted to treat them dinner but no i'm saving for new a monitor.

am i so pathetic that i think i don't know how it is to fall in love again...No, no

to break someone's heart on her birthday

Mon, 22 Sep 2003 03:26:23 GMT

A few hours ago I received a text from Grace asking me if I love JOAN and if I did, I should make my move tomorrow(Joan's Birthday). Grace also told me that Joan told her that she's in love with ahem...me and she's gonna let her feelings out tomorrow.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/dark_schneider/125474.html

here's my reply...

"I don't like her. Right now I need friends more than a lover. Thanks for telling me."

----------

Bald Man!!!

Thu, 18 Sep 2003 10:27:56 GMT

if you have some time to spare please download and listen to our song bald man.

click here to proceed.

please tell me what you think. thanks!

pretty womanesque

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 08:27:40 GMT

I'm not sure if I wrote about a girl named "M" in here. M is that flirty type of a girl, very flirty if that's the way to describe her. M isn't that tall but she has a good body and a pretty face. She's got fair skin too. M is a bombshell.

I went out last night. John called me on my mobile phone and told me Mark Liit(Shorty) was with him and they were hanging out in TAPSI, a student-infested bar where we used to hang out a lot. I told John I can't go but on my way home Rinno called and said he'd pick me up. And so I did go with them. Before we headed to TAPSI, Mark(Sensui) called. He said it's an emergency and we should go pick him up at some place( Mc Donald's Dapitan).

There we caught Sensui. Talking over his celphone at the side of a van. It was Neil's(sensui's classmate) van. The right door was opened on the backseat. There was a lady puke-drunk thowing up her intestines on the ground and on the matting of the van. It was M. I pitied M. I pitied her as her other classmate seated next to her took the advantage of caressing whatever part of her body as if easing her while throwing up. To make the story short, Sensui's classmates had to go and leave M to our care. M was wasted. Nobody wanted to take her home because she's dressed like a whore and she's pissed-drunk.

Mark-Sensui carried away a dead-weighted M to Rinno's van. I even had to help Sensui carrying her. Actually I wanted to carry her by myself.

We then finally headed off to TAPSI which was about 100 Meters away. (DETAILS LATER)

WHen we got to TAPSI everybody was drunk and it darn felt good to be back there. Mark-Sensui had to stay in the van and took care of M. M actually wanted Sensui to take care of her.

After the drinking session, John wanted to eat PERSIAN KEBAB and so we did. M was still with us by that time and when Sensui had to go, M was left alone in the van but by this time she was a li'l sober.

Gina was very pissed at M that night. Well it's pretty obvious that decent girls don't wanna hang out with bitchy ladies like M but well, Gina hates M because it has become a problem for all of us where M would be sleeping the night off. It was a long day for everybody and TO GET HOME & SLEEP was the rational thing to do. To everyone's relief, I told them M can sleep in my place. Alas, we parted ways. John rode off with Gina and Biboy.

Just when Rinno and I decided to go home M suddenly protested the idea of sleeping in my place. Instead she wanted to sleep over at her friend's house. We had to go to the slums then and bring A NOW VERY SOBER M. End of story.

I'm attracted to M but she likes somebody else. She likes Mark-Sensui. Mark Sensui doesn't like her because to him she's just a bitch who clings and sleeps with anybody. I like M because I think she can change and be someone ideal.

tsk tsk tsk

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 06:25:28 GMT

this shows what kind of monkeys our operatives are made of :)

i hope those who got injured recover quickly and i do hope their injuries are nothing serious

Mon, 15 Sep 2003 02:01:13 GMT

you dont need to guess who went home early on last friday night, yeah that's definitely me. well the feeling's not so nice of course espcially for a single-25-year-older like me.

a lot of ifs and could've beens that night...

if i still had my band(our drummer left) we could've been playing somewhere that night...

if my so-called organizer peers had brains they would've sign us up for their line-ups. GOD, this people even have the nerves to invite me to their productions. these people are so insensitive or maybe i'm just too sensitive???

if my college drug buddies haven't changed from rugged-trash peeps to rich-kid-asshole-english-speaking turds, we could all just be drinking and hangin' around playing pool(billiards).

if i had my own place to enjoy my lonesome with alcohol and pot and maybe hire a whore to have company, I guess I would be contented and be somewhat happy.

IF I HAVE ONLY BEEN NICE back then.

I WOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS.

I B L E E D

Thu, 11 Sep 2003 09:39:34 GMT

I FUCKING BLEED...

work sucks :)

fares remained at 5 Pesos

Thu, 11 Sep 2003 01:43:38 GMT

I may not be in the best of moods today but I am happy. NO matter how simple what I'm happy about, I am proud. I learned yesterday that the drivers did not push thru with their supossed hike, fares remained at 5 Pesos.

I am proud of myslef and of the others who stood up and fought for what is right. I am proud of the drivers too for being rational and considerate to the pleas of the people.

I wish we can always be like this. We do not need this government. We do not need them politicians. What we need is cooperation, understanding and CARE.

Thank you GOD for making me a part of this small simple and yet very meaningful story.

they complain but they give-in

Tue, 09 Sep 2003 03:01:07 GMT

early today I took the ever-reliable pujs in protest for those damn fx-cab drivers who made a baseless fare hike. damn these stupid drivers-operators.

as usual, my poor fellow filipinos just give in. they complain but they give-in.

i'm not talking about the money here. i'm not talking about 2 pesos. what is 2 pesos anyway?

this is about stupidity! this is about what's right! if we people dont' stand up and fight there's a huge-ass fat chance we'll be ran over and over with.

"Kawawang Pilipinas(Poor Philippines)."